This month’s blog is a discussion prompted by the popular saying: ‘The end zone is for the ego; the journey is for the soul’. It got me curious because my coaching blends transactional outcomes (goals) with personal transformation (who we truly are, aka the soul). My curiosity became inspired enthusiasm which in turn prompted me to write!
At one time or another we have all chased goals. Goals such as landing the dream job, buying a house, getting the promotion, or finally ticking something off the bucket list. And by stealing a phrase from American Football, we can see that achieving these goals can feel like standing in the ‘end zone’. A place, or moment in time, where we imagine success, achievement, and validation will be found.
It’s true these special moments can be exciting and fulfilling, but they often speak more to our ego than to our soul. A few years ago, I wouldn’t have really understood what that meant! But here goes trying to explain my thinking on the understanding that psychology is an elaborate weave of social constructs…
The ego is the part of us that seeks approval, recognition, and comparison. It loves labels and accomplishments. It asks, “Am I good enough? Am I better than others? Do people see how successful I am?” Ego is not necessarily a bad thing, simply the natural part of being human that helps creates our ‘surface’ identity. However, when we let the ego drive everything we do, life can become a constant chase for the next big thing, with us always looking outward for a sense of worth.
The soul (or our essence / who we really are beyond the ego) on the other hand, speaks more quietly. It’s the inner part of us that values growth, meaning, and connection. The soul doesn’t care about trophies, achievements, or applause. It asks, “Am I learning? Am I becoming more true to myself? Am I finding joy and meaning in each moment?”
When we say, “The end zone is for the ego,” we’re recognising that achievements and outward successes such as crossing the finish line in first place, getting the degree, winning the award, often feed the ego’s desire to feel important or validated. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying those moments, but if we focus only on them, life can feel empty once the applause fades.
“The journey is for the soul” reminds us that who we become on the way to those goals (the lessons we learn, the connections we build, the moments of courage, resilience, and growth) is what truly nourishes us at a deeper level. The journey is where we experience life fully, with all its ups and downs, and where we connect with our true selves.
If you train for a marathon only to show off the medal, you’re feeding the ego. If you fall in love with the process of training (learning discipline, enjoying the rhythm of running, connecting with fellow runners) you’re feeding the soul.
So, as you set goals in your life, celebrate your “end zones” when you reach them — but don’t let them define you. Instead, take time to enjoy the journey as that’s where the transformation happens; it’s the place where your soul is most alive.
In coaching, understanding the difference between the ego and the soul is the key to meaningful transformation. If we focus exclusively on the outer path, for example, finding a job, our personal growth will most likely be surface-level and short-lived. Lasting change happens when we also travel the inner path where we learn to connect with our deeper values, inner wisdom, and authentic purpose. In other words, who we truly are.
Coaching is more than simply achieving a transactional goal so don’t settle for less than you deserve. Excellent coaching is transformational, following both the outer path and the inner path to help clients to achieve their goals and cultivate a sense of fulfilment and joy at the same time.
Photo credit: Dave Adamson on Unsplash