Coaching modalities are often based around goal-setting. Those goals are usually tangible targets such as a new car or a dream holiday. Or they might be about getting a promotion, or earning more money. How about losing weight or building a toned physique?
My coaching philosophy isn’t about tangible targets, although that’s usually the starting point for the client. Let me explain…
One of the coaching questions I love to ask is ‘What’s the goal, behind the goal?’ Or, why do you want the car, the job, the body? What’s behind the conflict or the anxiousness? What’s stopping you achieving your dream? There’s always a reason, but it might be two or three, or more layers deeper than the initial goal. More often than not, the goal behind the goal is something along the lines of wanting to be happy; wanting to be comfortable in our own skin or wanting to find peace of mind.
My coaching philosophy is based on the idea that most people are simply seeking an understanding of who they really are. To me, and my clients, that’s success. When someone feels comfortable in their own body and understands where their feelings are coming from, that’s success. When we have peace of mind, that’s success. Perhaps I should describe myself as a ‘Success Coach’!
Michael Neill talks about two types of success – success as in acquiring possessions and success in terms of achieving happiness. He neither condones nor criticises the two options, preferring instead to suggest that we might like to consider aspiring to happy success. It is not good having the new shiny car and remaining miserable.
Maya Angelo, the American poet, describes success as: ‘Liking yourself, liking what you do and how you do it.’ Now we’re talking! This definition resonates deeply and has given me my ‘why’. Why do I love coaching? Why have I spent time learning my craft and building my business?
It’s because for several hours each week, I get to sit, to listen and to talk with my clients. Each one a lovely and inspiring individual. I get to serve those individuals. I get to point those individuals in the direction of their true selves. I get to help those individuals find the success they are seeking and the peace of mind they crave. And that’s magical.
Angelou, M. Unsourced.
Neill, M. (2010) Success, Fear and Money. Available at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZLdBj9K_NyQ (Accessed: 20/03/20)
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