There is a moment I often see with teachers at a crossroads, where the question quietly shifts from “What should I do?” to “What do I actually want?” On the surface, this sounds simple, yet in practice it can feel surprisingly difficult to answer. Many teachers are used to constantly responding to expectations, responsibilities and external pressures, so reconnecting with their own desire can feel unfamiliar, even indulgent. And yet, it is often the starting point for clarity.
In Fundamentals of Coaching, Josh Hornick describes what he calls the Five Levels of Desire, offering a helpful way of understanding why we can feel stuck even when we know something needs to change. Desire begins as a simple thought, which has the potential of growing into a gentle wish, then evolving into a stronger want, then becoming a preference, before moving into commitment and ultimately necessity. What I see time and again is that many teachers remain in the earlier stages, quietly hoping things might improve, or wanting change but not yet feeling ready to act. There is nothing wrong with this, but it does explain why clarity can feel out of reach.
This is where Steve Chandler adds another layer of insight. Across his work, particularly in The Joy of Selling, he emphasises that it is not ‘how to’ that drives change, but ‘want to’. In other words, it is not a lack of strategy or knowledge that keeps people stuck, but a lack of fully connected desire. When desire deepens into commitment, action begins to follow more naturally. Teachers often tell me they are waiting for confidence before taking a step forward, but confidence tends to grow as a by-product of acting on something that genuinely matters.
And yet, there is a further distinction that Michael Neill invites us to consider, which is the quality of that desire. In books such as Creating the Impossible, he points out that not all desire feels the same. Some desire is driven by pressure, comparison or the need to escape a difficult situation, and while it can feel intense, it often brings with it a sense of urgency and unease. Other desires arise more quietly, from a deeper sense of alignment, and although they may feel less dramatic, they tend to carry a steadier, more grounded energy.
For teachers navigating uncertainty, this distinction can be transformative. It is not simply about increasing desire or forcing a decision, but about noticing where that desire is coming from. When it is fuelled by fear, it can keep us busy but stuck; when it comes from a clearer, calmer place, it tends to move us forward with more ease and direction.
A final thought, drawing on the work of Dominic Scaffidi and Grace Kelly, is a gentle challenge to something many teachers have come to believe, that meaningful change must be hard work. In their Living Miraculously programme, they suggest the opposite, that when we are aligned with what is true for us, achieving our desires can feel surprisingly natural, even easy. Not because no effort is required, but because we are no longer forcing or striving against ourselves. From this place, action flows with less resistance, and what once felt heavy begins to feel possible.